Is it really fine? I'm calling BULLSHIT! Yep, I said it. The fact that this statement made it on signs, t-shirts, memes & gif's across the world kinda surprises me but not really. It's like saying, I have so much stress but it's ok, I got it, no big deal. I get it though, because the majority of us don't want to show weakness on social media. By the way if you are one who owns a t-shirt with this saying, or have a sign with that saying on it, or have even posted about it, I am not yelling at you. What I will do though, is challenge you. Stick with me here.
Now, maybe everything is fine in your world and that is great, but the posts I see, I can tell that things are not fine. I see it in your words, that times are challenging or stressful. Yet, you are posting that all that stress is now covered up with the next catch phrase. It's Fine, I'm Fine, Everything is Fine." Stop lying to yourself!
Does it sound like I'm yelling at you? Because I can get so passionate about something, that it sometimes comes across as me yelling or scolding. In all honesty, I am just being direct and want better things for you.
If the thought of you looking in the mirror and saying "I'm Fine, It's Fine, Everything is Fine", feels difficult to you and you can barely sputter out the words, try something like this, "Things feel hard & stressful right now, but I am strong but I don't have to do it all myself." When the chaos is hitting you at full speed and it doesn't look like it's slowing down, STOP, take a deep breath, fully inhale and exhale out. Now ask yourself, "What is one thing I can handle right now?" Do that 1 thing and give yourself a hug. By taking that first step forward you are telling your brain not to be in survival mode. Your brain will now be able to tackle things one by one, instead of trying to DO IT ALL, alone, because you are strong. Did you know even if you ask for help, that is being strong?! Asking for help is no easy task. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength.
So, stop lying to yourself. Accept that things are not fine and things are chaotic right now and then calm yourself. Take 1 step forward. Talk nice to yourself and take a BIG DEEP BREATH! I have faith in you. You can handle so much, but why do you want to?
By the way, last month I came up with my word for 2023 and I can honestly say, I feel so good about it. My word for 2023 is "Let Go." I am letting go of a lot of things but that is all for another blog. But why I'm telling you this is because the last 2 weeks, I have let go of "my house should be picked up all the time or I can't sleep." In all reality, my house was a disaster pretty much 90% of the time the last 2 weeks and still kinda is. Wrapping paper and dirty laundry is taking over our bedroom, dirty dishes in the sink along with a dishwasher of clean ones. But, we have been so busy and stressing about those things right now just seems silly. So, I forgave myself for not having a "PERFECT HOUSE" all the time but I am not adding anymore stress to this holiday season, so instead we clean our house in strides and tackle what we can. The rest of it, we Let Go of control and relax at the end of the night.
Lastly, if you need some help letting go or slowing down, I want you to email me hello@calmourchaos.com. I would love to help you CALM YOUR CHAOS with some things that have helped me. I am not a coach. I am a woman who wants to help other people slow down and see the beauty of life even during the holiday season.
I hesitated sending out this blog, but God told me you needed to hear it. Let me know if this hit your heart.
Your friend, Alesha
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